I’ve been dreading today for a long time. It’s the day after vacation. We spent an epic week in Colorado with my family and friends. We were able to see bears, go on ATV rides, do duck races in the backyard creek, hike, feed fish, and the list goes on.
And today? Today’s back to reality. The mound of laundry sitting on my bed to be folded and put away. Tired, cranky kids from too little sleep and too much junk food. A day of handling kids alone because my husband is back at work after several days with us. So yeah, I’ve been anxious about today, knowing I may feel emotional to be away from my family and sad that what I’d anticipated for so long was…over. Every year I struggle leaving Durango because Southern California is not beautiful Colorado (and the welcoming smog on our way in yesterday didn’t help).
We got home yesterday, I started laundry, went on a family bike ride and my almost-four-year-old fell forward and hit his tooth and lip on the concrete. Not the welcome back I’d hoped for.
But then I woke up today. Instead of dread, I actually felt peace. I prayed for the right attitude today, the ability to handle any emotions I’d experience. And, you know what? The Lord has given me grace and peace today. Even more, I feel joy.
I took my son to the dentist, and it turned out to be free and he’s okay. My friend watched my little one while we went to the appointment, an unexpected offer. My house is a disaster (after five minutes of being home it got dirty), but it’s made for messes and nothing is permanently dirty. My run this morning in our neighborhood wasn’t along a gorgeous creek, but there are green trees all around us. My house isn’t as beautiful as where I grew up, but my kids have space to run around.
Sometimes I forget how much I like my normal. There are lots of things I’d change, nothing is perfect, but it feels good to be home. There’s beauty in the ordinary, the boring. I like that I get to stay home with my boys and make memories. I’m glad I get to take them on my runs, chat, and sing silly songs at lunchtime. I get to see my baby’s dimple when he smiles because he threw all his Cheerios on the ground.
Today’s been a boring, normal day. But it’s a good day. One of these days I’m going to learn that I worry for no reason, that I can save myself a lot of anxiety if I just live in the moment. Trust the Lord to equip me with what I need, when I need it. Sometimes the best days are the boring, nothing-planned, messy ones. It’s then that God gives me the downtime to find rest and to recalibrate. Even AFTER vacation (because let’s be real: vacationing with kids is never a real vacation).